/Rant

I see she married into the Blessandhighfavored Williams clan, formerly of the Trulybless Williams family.

She should just hyphenate them all. XXX Trulybless-Blessandhighfavored-Williams

I’m glad I can teach you what you should have learned in the third grade.

I hope other people at work who see me smiling, in a good mood fear me. Similar to above. 

Your incessant questions are about to make me lose my shit. 

Like…shave my head, attack you with an umbrella-style lose my shit.

Yes, huntee - I got your voicemail. And I didn’t give one fuck about it. 

#Bloopbloopbloop

“Please help me plan viral growth. I’ve promised the client 4 viral outreach moments.” 

WTF does that even mean? Is this person that you’ve promised this to able to fog a mirror? If so, they should run away from you immediately.

Turd.

Unless you’re 1.) a Spanish porn star or 2.) Ted Danson, do us all a favor and stop addressing your email with “Hola” and signing it “Cheers.”

Tomorrow is Casual Friday at work. Thankfully, I just got this top back from the dry cleaner.

So, you’re welcome in advance, everyone, for #boobshimmy.

Despite it all - this makes me absolutely giddy.

Let’s here it for Jiggy.